


Neptune

by Rainydaysunrise



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Character Death In Dream, Dream lives, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, Established Relationship, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lucid Dreaming, M/M, Past Character Death, Past Lives, Past Relationship(s), Poetry, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-10-19 13:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17602406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainydaysunrise/pseuds/Rainydaysunrise
Summary: Have you ever wondered what your past lives have held? Have you ever wondered what your dreams meant?For her, she finds out they hold so much more than she could ever imagine.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! :D 
> 
> This is more of a different work than I usually post but it's something I've been working on for a few years now... Some parts are longer than usual but it is something that I'm proud of. I hope you have a great day and I really appreciate you reading.
> 
> Thank you again! <3

It started as a dream.  
Not a nice  
Calm  
Dream.  
But one of being chased.  
It wasn't by a monster   
Or a demon  
Or a creature.   
It was running from me  
And from the things I feared.   
Ideas of love and love lost.  
Thoughts of a one who did not seem to exist.   
But there was more than just running through a dark and dank forest.  
That first dream… there was light.   
There was for the first time in a very long time,   
Light.  
It seemed to glow.  
Golden strands of hair and pale but scarred skin.   
And damn it, I ran straight into him.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up like I always do.  
In my tiny apartment   
In my favorite pajamas because I'm too lazy to do do the washing.  
Just a simple life in Brighton.   
I can't…  
I can't get motivated to do anything today.  
But I have work to go to.  
And friends that I need to see.  
And coffee that needs to be made.  
I drag myself up,   
The after effects of the dream behind my eyelids  
Every  
Time  
I  
Blink.  
I've never dreamt of people,   
Only event and faces blurred together.   
So why now?   
And of someone   
That I have never seen before.   
The coffee maker comes to life,   
Drip  
Drip  
Drip.   
The aroma fills the room  
As I try to shake off the thoughts  
And start my day.


	3. Chapter 3

An early Saturday morning;  
The sun comes in through the studio windows,  
The smell of paint and coffee hangs in the air,   
Some FM radio station is playing quietly…  
I'm in my favorite chair,   
The windows open as the November wind rustles the curtains.   
Things are different  
But somehow the same.  
He was in my dreams again last night  
And the color of his eyes became more…  
Prominent?  
Is that the word?   
A green hue   
With blue undertones.  
I've spent all day trying to recreate the color  
On canvas  
On paper  
On newspaper even.   
But I can't get it right.  
Not even the color of his hair.  
But when I close my eyes  
I can see them as clear as when was dreaming.   
An early Saturday morning…  
Just another day.


	4. Chapter 4

The dream is different this time.  
Tonight,   
I don't go to the tiny Town  
Or the cave of refugees  
Or even the darkness of the forest.  
Instead I wake up in my own forgotten memory.

The thickness of the fog

The bite of winter in the air

The masses of people surrounding us.

I’m watching my own memory from the front of the crowd  
Like some fucked up play.

He is crying,  
Tears staining the mixture of scars 

That I so long to touch again.

My face is in his hands  
And i’m holding his wrists in my small hands.  
We’re both so thin and fragile.

I realize what is going on.  
This is the day I left.  
This was the day   
That I no longer belonged here.

He is whispering to me as I stare him down,  
“Don’t you forget. I need you to come back to me.”  
“Come back to me.”  
“Come back.”

“Come back.” 

The dream shifts and colors fade. 

I can only hear the twang of an arrow and the roar of fire in the distance. 

I’m boarding a small boat

Just me. 

He brushes his lips against mine before pushing me off.

“Don’t forget me.

Come back.” 

The smell of smoke surrounds me 

And suddenly it’s dark

And I’m reaching for him

And yet

I grab nothing but darkness.

…

 

…..

……..

 

The room is still dark when I wake up

No light shining through the curtains. 

I get out of my warm bed

And turn on all of the lights in my flat. 

There is no place for darkness here. 

Not tonight.

Not ever.


	5. Chapter 5

His voice  
It commands armies to lay down their arms  
To give up the battle  
His life one of a soldier's  
In the past  
Before the flames caught up  
(What are you doing?)   
His eyes are fierce and green.   
Squinted in the afternoon sunlight that streams through the trees.   
The soldier he is   
And the soldier he will remain.   
Always fighting.   
Always commanding.   
And so I wait  
I wait for him to return to my dreams…  
Because I know that if the day comes and he does not,  
The soldiers work is done   
And I will alone.


	6. Chapter 6

Tonight i ran away.  
As far as my legs would carry me.   
My lungs burned  
My legs felt wobbly  
But i had to go.  
I was suffocating  
Without trees  
Without light  
Without the place i called home.  
I ran  
Ran  
Ran  
Ran….

My feet thumping on the wet ground  
When had it rained last?   
The faster my heart beat,  
The loud ringing in my ears,  
The more I could hear the sirens sweet call of home.  
I could hear the maidens sing   
The   
Song  
Of  
Fallen  
Warriors. 

I ran until I could no longer see  
The street lamps  
The cars   
Or anything. 

I ran until I came to.

 

 

 

 

 

I awake in my own bed,  
The cold coming in through the window as   
The rain fell to the cold earth.

Nothing made sense.   
Nothing 

Was

 

real.


	7. Chapter 7

I went and saw a psychic today.   
You would have laughed at me.   
I guess i wanted to see if she could tell me anything  
About past lives that I hadn't been in yet  
Or about you.  
I wasn't stupid obviously.  
I didn't mention anything   
About you   
Or where you were from  
Or anything about our family  
Or friends.   
I didn't tell her about how   
The air feels cleaner in the first few breaths i take  
That your brother, Lindir, his hair is the color of ripe chestnuts  
That the Master of the land,  
Doesn't know how we were separated  
By time  
By space.   
What i do know  
Is that this woman said there was someone far   
Far  
Away  
Waiting for me to come home.  
That he was eager to have all of me  
Not part of me.   
I left there angry   
Unconsolable.  
Because she guessed it  
On   
The   
First  
Try.


	8. Chapter 8

Eyes closed  
Waiting for unconsciousness  
to take me there.  
Take me to the forest.  
Take me home.  
Take me back to the waiting arms of him.  
I lay awake and aware  
The city is too loud tonight.  
Sirens and artificial sounds.  
We can only wish for peace and quiet  
and hope for the comforting silence   
that those familiar trees bring. 

1...

2……..

3………….

4………………….

Nothing.  
Still awake.  
I open my eyes and stare my ceiling,  
the lights of passing cars illuminating the room.

He is in my reach,  
I can feel him.

Minutes like hours pass  
as I lay there.  
Waiting.  
Until the room begins to grow lighter and daybreak takes over.  
A night without sleep…  
A night without home.


	9. Chapter 9

I thought I saw you today.  
Then I realized that you couldn't be here.  
That the impossible was always with us.   
Our atoms spread too far apart   
Across the vastness of this universe.   
It was the flash of blonde that got me and the slightly crooked but still so straight nose.   
I never used to pay attention to detail,   
But now I do because all I see is you.   
And it fucking hurts.   
You told me one night,   
God how I remember,  
How infinite the chances were that we would ever really be together.   
That the universe was strange like that.   
The stranger made me realize that I would give anything to be near you for more than a few hours at a time.   
I just….  
I thought that maybe you had found your way to me.  
But you didn't and it hurt so bad   
That the stranger couldn't console me   
as I stared in anger.  
It was not his fault. it was not anyone's fault. 

Only mine.


	10. Chapter 10

My eyes open to trees and the short gravel stretch 

That leads to our home. 

Breathing in the fresh, crisp air

I walk to the home that we have built together.

The path is familiar 

And worn.

Holding onto this

Keeps me happy as the day passes.

I walk on to our porch, 

Small and worn.

The house itself

Small and insignificant

But to us,

It's home. 

Closer than heaven. 

I open the door, 

The smell of wood and dirt

And holidays

And a life lived

Are all here. 

I am home. 

Shutting the door behind me   
I make my way up the stairs to our room.

I can hear him snoring through the walls,

It makes my heart flutter.

The door is open and I 

Tip

Toe

To the bed 

And lay down beside him.

"I missed you." He mumbles

Sleep heavy in his voice.

"Were you on watch duty?"

I keep my voice quiet

Knowing he's tired. 

I can feel his nod as he snuggles beside me

"Go back to sleep. I love you."

He's asleep before I finish my sentence.

I study his features for my text painting

The scarring on his left cheek,

The milkiness of his skin,

The sharp cheekbones. 

All committed to memory.

All ready to become one with the canvas  
When I wake up.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of this fic, thank you so much for reading and I really appreciate it. 
> 
> Have a lovely day! <3

The ending always comes 

sooner than expected.

I don't remember much,

just sirens

and loud voices shouting in a way I 

Don't  
Want   
To 

 

...Remember...

before I woke up with a gasp,

clean air filling my lungs.

All of my cells screaming

of new life

and the old scars marring me

from lives unknown

yet now lived with once again.

I could see him on the wall,

that blonde mess of hair twisted as he saw my movement.

He did not know.

How could he?

 

Hell, I didn't even know.

The shouts of alarm in the distance

I was the reason. 

But somehow I knew 

that when he got to me,

Bow in hand, 

He would know

And for once,

I would know too.


End file.
